Hi Russ,
Thanks for providing your Gen-ART review for this draft.
I agree with you on all your comments. The revision if/when called for will
incorporate the changes.
Best Regards,
Young
-----Original Message-----
From: Russ Housley [mailto:housley(_at_)vigilsec(_dot_)com]
Sent: Sunday, November 09, 2014 4:42 PM
To: IETF; ccamp-chairs(_at_)tools(_dot_)ietf(_dot_)org;
draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info(_dot_)all(_at_)tools(_dot_)ietf(_dot_)org
Cc: General Area Review Team
Subject: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22.txt
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART,
please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may
receive.
Document: draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22
Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review Date: 2014-11-09
IETF LC End Date: 2014-11-27
IESG Telechat date: unknown
Summary: Almost ready; a few minor things to clear up.
Major Concerns:
None.
Minor Concerns:
In section 3, please add a sentence or two that explains switching subsystem
and line subsystem. The definitions might be best appear in Section 2. I
checked in RFC 6163, but I did not find a description of these terms there.
Other Comments:
Section 1 begins with:
The purpose of the following information model for WSONs ...
In my opinion, it would be better to say something like:
The purpose of the WSONs information model described in this
document ...
Likewise, in section 3, it says:
The following WSON RWA information model ...
In my opinion, it would be better to say something like:
The WSON RWA information model in this document ...
In section 5.1, 3rd paragraph, it says:
... Since not all input ports
can necessarily reach each resource block, the model starts with a
resource pool input matrix RI(i,p) = {0,1} whether input port i can
reach potentially reach resource block p.
s/reach potentially reach/potentially reach/