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Re: Gen-ART LC Review of draft-ietf-netmod-dsdl-map-07

2010-09-08 11:31:08
I further note that  schishol(_at_)nortel(_dot_)com gets bounced by Nortel as a 
non-existant address. Is there an updated address?

On Sep 7, 2010, at 4:04 PM, Ben Campbell wrote:

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-netmod-dsdl-map-07
Reviewer: Ben Campbell
Review Date: 2010-09-07
IETF LC End Date: 2010-09-07
IESG Telechat date: (if known)

Summary: The draft is basically ready for publication as a proposed standard. 
I have a few editorial comments and nits that should be considered if there 
is another revision.

Note: This draft delves deeply into XML esoterica, and I am far from an XML 
expert. I assume the authors and work group feel this has had sufficient 
review from XML experts (and as far as I know, they _are_ the experts). I 
also assume the schemas, etc, have been mechanically verified. If not, I 
suggest this be done as much as practical.

Major issues:

None

Minor issues:

Nits/editorial comments:

-- Idnits complains about a number of normative references to external 
documents. I don't know if that's a problem--I merely point it out for 
consideration. It looks like it's mostly ISO docs, so I doubt there's an issue

-- There are a number of acronyms that should be expanded on first use. E.g. 
YANG, RELAX NG, XLST, etc.

-- section 2.1, definition of "implicit node"

Can a node be considered implicit if it is _not_ missing? If not, then the 
"if missing" condition is non-contraining.

-- section 3, 1st sentence:

s/by/with

-- section 9.1.1:

Is it explicitly illegal for a mandatory node to have a default?

-- section 9.1.1, third paragraph from the end:

"...and only if..." seems non-constraining in context.

-- section 13

This looks sort of light, when compared with the template in 3688. I'm not 
exactly sure how to apply that to a namespace, since I guess there is no XML 
to include, but it probably at least needs a registrant contact for each URL.

-- Author's addresses:

Is Rohan's affiliation current?

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