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tsv-dir review of draft-ietf-netconf-4741bis-07

2011-02-04 06:38:24
Hi,

I've reviewed this document as part of the transport area directorate's ongoing 
effort to review key IETF documents. These comments were written primarily for 
the transport area directors, but are copied to the document's authors for 
their information and to allow them to address any issues raised. The authors 
should consider this review together with any other last-call comments they 
receive. Please always CC tsv-dir(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org if you reply to or 
forward this review.  

This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that should be 
fixed before publication. There are no transport-related concerns that I could 
spot.

Some nits:

Section 2.1: second paragraph (below), second sentence doesn't parse quite 
right for me. Especially as the following sentence seems to imply the opposite. 
I read this as "The client can change things that cannot be changed"

--> "NETCONF connections are long-lived, persisting between protocol
operations.  This allows the client to make changes to the state of
the connection that will persist for the lifetime of the connection.
For example, authentication information specified for a connection
remains in effect until the connection is closed."

You have "Authentication" in titles twice (in 2.2 and 2.3). Can do without in 
2.2 as you dedicate a whole section on it.

Section 2.2. "NETCONF connections must" is not a "MUST". Is this intentional 
(BTW, you don't mention integrity in the security considerations section any 
more).

"NETCONF transport protocols therefore MUST explain how a NETCONF username is
derived from the authentication mechanisms supported by the transport
protocol." I read this as every transport protocol that NETCONF can run over 
(SSH e.g.) needs to specify this, but I think this is not what you require or 
even can ask for. But maybe I misunderstand the sentence.

Regarding this error:
enum operation-failed {
          description
            "Request could not be completed because the requested
             operation failed for some reason not covered by
             any other error condition.";
}
This is send if the XML is not well formed. Maybe you could dedicate a message 
to this that makes trouble shooting a little easier such as "XML-format-error" 
or something.

That's about it.

Best,

        Rolf

NEC Europe Limited | Registered Office: NEC House, 1 Victoria Road, London W3 
6BL | Registered in England 2832014 


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