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Gen-ART LC Review of draft-ietf-karp-routing-tcp-analysis-05.txt

2012-11-14 17:40:11
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at

<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-karp-routing-tcp-analysis-05.txt
Reviewer: Ben Campbell
Review Date: 2012-11-14
IETF LC End Date: 2012-11-19

Summary: This draft is almost ready for publication as an informational RFC. 
There are a few minor issues and a number of editorial issues that should be 
considered prior to publication.

*** Major issues ***:

None

*** Minor issues *** :

-- section 2.2, last paragraph:

The IKE mention lacks context. Do you mean to suggest IKE with IPSec? I assume 
so, but there's been no mention of IPSec so far.

-- section 2.3.2:

It would be helpful for this section to describe whether privacy issues 
actually matter or not, rather than just stating the issues to be similar to 
those for other routing protocols.

-- section 3.1, 2nd paragraph:

Does this mean that privacy is really not needed, or just that LDP does not 
state a requirement for privacy?

-- Section 6 (Security Considerations), 4th paragraph:

If replay protection is required, shouldn't the draft discuss the details 
somewhere? I see only one mention in passing outside of this section.

*** Nits/editorial comments ***:

-- IDNits indicates some unused and obsoleted references. Please check.

-- The IANA considerations section is missing. If the draft makes requests of 
IANA, it should include the section and state that.

-- the short title is "The IANA considerations section is missing. If the draft 
makes requests of IANA, it should include the section and say that

-- The short title is "draft-ietf-karp-routing-tcp-analysis-05.txt". Is this 
draft in any way specific to TCP? If so, it would be helpful to mention that in 
the abstract and introduction.

-- Punctuation errors are pervasive, particularly in the early and late 
sections. These make it harder to read than it needs to be. In particular, I 
suggest the draft be proofread for missing commas and missing quotes (or other 
marks) around document titles.

-- Section 1, paragraph 1:

The cited doc name should be quoted, or otherwise marked. Also, it's not 
necessary to put the full reference here, since you are citing the references 
section.

-- Section 1, paragraph 1: "Four main steps were identified for that 
tightening:"

For what tightening? This is the first mention. Perhaps the previous sentence 
should have gone on to say "... and suggests steps to tighten the 
infrastructure against the attack"?

-- section 1, 1st paragraph after numbered list:

The end of the paragraph does not seem related to the beginning. I suggest a 
paragraph split before the sentence starting with "The OPSEC working group..." 

-- section 1, 2nd to last paragraph: "current state of security method"

Missing article before "security method".

-- section 1.1:

Why is 2119 language needed? I see two potentially normative statements--but 
both of those merely describe the existing MAC requirements in TCP-AO. It would 
be better to state those in descriptive language (e.g. TCP-AO requires…) and to 
drop the 2119 section entirely. 

-- section 2.1,  5th paragraph:

A mention of SHA1 seems needed here. Section 2.3.1.2 states the concerns about 
TCP-md5 more clearly.

-- section 2.3.1.2, 1st paragraph: "As stated above..."

A section reference would be helpful.

-- section 4, 2nd paragraph: "In addition Improving TCP’s Robustness to Blind 
In-Window Attacks."

sentence fragment.

-- section 4, 3rd paragraph:

It would have been helpful to mention the MKT manual config issue back in the 
"state of the security method" sections.



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