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Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you
may receive.
Document: draft-ietf-mpls-multipath-use-03
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: January-16-2014
IETF LC End Date: January-17-2014
IESG Telechat date: January-23-2014
Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication as an Informational
RFC, but has nits that should be fixed before publication. [Ready with
nits.]
This document discusses multipath MPLS operations and describes the means of
supporting MPLS as a server layer for MPLS-TP and vice versa. It lists
requirements and implications for these operations.
Nits:
General nits:
Make all references to the expansion of ECMP read "Equal-Cost Multipath" for
consistency with RFC 2991.
In the usage RFCxxxx, use a space between RFC and xxxx except when used as a
reference, e.g., [RFCxxxx].
There are many unexplained acronyms without definition or reference. Unless
these are abundantly clear to most readers, expand them on first usage and
provide a reference pointer where feasible.
Specific nits:
Page 1, Abstract, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: change "MPLS Entropy label"
to "the MPLS Entropy Label".
Page 2, Section 1, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: delete the comma after
"traffic".
Page 2, Section 1, 1st paragraph, last sentence: change "load split" to
"load splitting".
Page 2, Section 1, 2nd paragraph, last sentence: hyphenate "fate sharing".
Page 3, Section 1, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: hyphenate "equal cost".
Page 3, definition of "Loop Free Alternate Paths (LFA)": hyphenate "Loop
Free".
Page 3, definition of "Loop Free Alternate Paths (LFA), 1st sentence: change
the terminating period to a colon.
Page 4, Section 3.1, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: change "date" to "data".
Page 4, Section 3.1, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: change the terminating
period to a colon.
Page 5, 1st full paragraph, 1st sentence: insert "Section 3.1.1" between
"[RFC5960]" and "paragraph 3". Capitalize "paragraph".
Page 5, 1st full paragraph, 3rd sentence: same as previous instructions.
Page 5, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change ' "Section 1 Introduction"' to '
Section 1 ("Introduction")'.
Page 6, 1st paragraph, 3rd sentence: change ' "Section 2.9.4 Equal Cost
Multipath") to ' Section 2.9.4 ("Equal Cost Multipath")'.
Page 6, Section 3.2, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: hyphenate "MPLS-TP
conformant" and delete the comma after "multipath".
Page 7, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "A" to "An".
Page 7, 2nd paragraph, 5th and 6th sentences: change all occurrences of
"LSP" to "LSPs".
Page 7, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "LSP" to "LSPs".
Page 7, 4th paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "LSR" to "LSRs".
Page 7, 5th paragraph: change all occurrences of "LSP" to "LSPs".
Page 7, 5th paragraph last sentence: change "co-existance" to "coexistence".
Page 8, 1st partial paragraph, 2nd full sentence: change all occurrences of
"LSP" to "LPSs" and change "LSR" to "LSRs".
Page 8, 2nd full paragraph: change all occurrences of "LSP" to "LSPs".
Page 8, 4th paragraph, 1st sentence: change "LSP" to "LSPs".
Page 8, 4th paragraph, 2nd sentence: is there a quantitative definition for
"very infrequent" that can be substituted or explained?
Page 8, 4th paragraph, 3rd sentence: change "presense" to "presence".
Insert "a" before "GAL".
Page 9, 1st partial paragraph: delete "label" following "EL" in two
locations.
Page 9, Section 4, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: change first "LSP" to
"LSPs". Change "a MPLS-TP" to "an MPLS-TP" unless MPLS is pronounced liked
"mipples" or something similar and not just spelled out.
Page 9, Section 4, 2nd paragraph: replace all occurrences of "LSP" with
"LSPs".
Page 9, Section 4, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: insert "the" between "in"
and "number".
Page 9, Section 4, 2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence: change "ILM" to "ILMs".
Page 9, Section 4, 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence: change "Server Layer" to
"server layer" for consistency of usage. Insert "of" between "use" and
"MPLS-TP". Change "LSP" to "LSPs".
Page 9, Section 4, 3rd paragraph, 4th sentence: change "LSP" to "LSPs".
Page 9, Section 4, 3rd paragraph, 5th sentence: change "LSP" to "LSPs".
Change "capacity" to "capacities". Insert "generally" before "not integer"
unless it is always the case that the capacity is not a multiple of 10 Gb/s.
Page 9, Section 4, 4th paragraph, 1st sentence: change "Server Layer" to
"server layer".
Page 10, Section 6, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: hyphenate "high end" and
append a comma after that. Hyphenate "packet processing".
Page 10, Section 6, 3rd paragraph, last sentence: same as previous
instructions.
Page 10, Section 8, 1st sentence: insert "a" between "of" and "framework".
I'm not particularly knowledgeable about MPLS, so I'm unable to express much
about the correctness of the operational points made in the document.
-Peter Yee