Responses inline...
On 18/10/2014 12:15 am, "Edward Lewis"
<edward(_dot_)lewis(_at_)icann(_dot_)org> wrote:
Comment 1
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Section 1.
## The registration data expected to be presented by this service is
## Internet resource registration data - registration of domain names
## and Internet number resources. These data is typically provided by
Nit: ''These data is'':
Perhaps - remove the ?¹The'' to start the paragraph and then ''Such data
are''
for the Nit. (Treat ?¹data'' consistently as singular or plural.)
Good catch. I suspect "These data is" was meant to be "This data is",
using "data" as a collective noun. I agree with removing 'The', but
personally prefer "This data is".
Comment 2
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Section 3.
Nit: ''meant to return only one path of execution'' - perhaps ''follow one
path''?
How would s/return/require/ work for you? The notion is that a protocol
matching this design intent would not lead to clients having branching or
tree searching operations, so for me "follow one path" describes a client
behaviour more than a protocol expectation.
Comment 3
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Section 5.6.
Nit: ''As the use of RDAP is for public resources'' is a judgement call.
Suggest
rewording as ''When RDAP is for public resources, a value of ?*¹. . .''
I agree with the premise of this nit. The entire sentence then reads:
When RDAP is for public resources, a value of "*" is suitable for most
cases.
How about something a little less tortuous:
A value of "*" is suitable when RDAP is used for public resources.
Comment 5
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Section 7.
Nit: ''It does require the RDAP clients MUST support HTTPS.''
Nit: ''This document made'' should be ''This document makes''
=> "It does require that RDAP clients MUST support HTTPS."
And agree on made => makes.
Comment 7
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Appendix B
Nit: ''this is unlikely to have any known side effects'' - suggest ''this
will be[/ought to be] compatible with the RDAP definition.''
How about we be more assertive:
"... this is compatible with the RDAP definition."
Thanks for looking over the doc closely!
--
bje
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