Hi Pete,
Thanks for the review. Please see inline
From: Pete Resnick [mailto:presnick(_at_)qti(_dot_)qualcomm(_dot_)com]
Sent: Monday, August 8, 2016 10:43 PM
To: General Area Review Team <gen-art(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org>;
draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility(_dot_)all(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org;
tram(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org; IETF <ietf(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org>
Subject: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility-03
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.
For more information, please see the FAQ at
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Document: draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility-03
Reviewer: Pete Resnick
Review Date: 2016-08-08
IETF LC End Date: 2016-08-11
IESG Telechat date: Unknown
Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has some minor
issues and nits that should be fixed before publication.
Major issues:
None
Minor issues:
3.1.2 - Change "MUST" to "will" both times in the second paragraph. The last
sentence of the section I don't understand; it doesn't seem to have any
interoperability implications, and I don't see why the client can't examine the
ticket in any way it wants. Either justify the sentence or delete it.
[TR] Even if the client examines the ticket there is no guarantee that it will
be able decode its fields. This line is added to suggest that there is no need
for the client to examine the ticket.
3.2.2 - Change "may" to "MAY" in the sixth paragraph. That is a protocol option
being described there.
[TR] Updated.
Nits/editorial comments:
3.1.4 - Change "MAY" to "can" in the second paragraph. I'd also split that
sentence into two sentences as the first half has nothing to do with the second
half.
[TR] Changed.
3.2.1 - The last sentence of 3.2.1 is confusing until you read 3.2.2 and 3.2.3.
I would simply delete the sentence. I don't think it adds anything.
[TR] Sure, deleted.
3.4 - Put the "TBD" in there so that the RFC Editor can update.
[TR] Added.
4 - Put a note to the RFC Editor here to update sections 3.1.4 and 3.4 with the
error number. That will make sure it gets updated properly.
[TR] Yes, updated.
-Tiru
pr
--
Pete Resnick
http://www.qualcomm.com/~presnick/<http://www.qualcomm.com/%7Epresnick/>
Qualcomm Technologies, Inc. - +1 (858)651-4478