Dale:
Thank you for the second review. I'll address these issues along with
others later today.
Sue Hares
-----Original Message-----
From: I2nsf [mailto:i2nsf-bounces(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org] On Behalf Of Dale Worley
Sent: Sunday, April 23, 2017 10:05 PM
To: gen-art(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org
Cc: i2nsf(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org; ietf(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org;
draft-ietf-i2nsf-problem-and-use-cases(_dot_)all(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org
Subject: [I2nsf] Genart telechat review of
draft-ietf-i2nsf-problem-and-use-cases-12
Reviewer: Dale Worley
Review result: Ready with Nits
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review
Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for
the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD
before posting a new version of the draft.
Document: draft-ietf-i2nsf-problem-and-use-cases-12
Reviewer: Dale R. Worley
Review Date: 2017-04-23
IETF LC End Date: 2017-03-22
IESG Telechat date: 2017-04-27
Summary:
This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits
that should be fixed before publication.
All of these nits are editorial.
3.1.1. Diverse Types of Security Functions
Security gateways and VPN concentrators: Examples of these
functions are; IPsec gateways, Secure VPN concentrators that
handle bridging secure VPNs, and secure VPN controllers for data
flows.
Unless "Secure VPN" is a name in itself, "secure" shouldn't be capitalized.
(Between -11 and -12, one instance of this was fixed, but the other one
remains.)
3.1.2. Diverse Interfaces to Control and Monitor NSFs
A challenge for monitoring prior to mitigation of a security
intrusion is that an NSF cannot monitor what it cannot view.
Therefore, enabling a security function to mitigate an intrusion
(e.g., firewall [I-D.ietf-opsawg-firewalls]) does not mean that a
network is protected if there is no monitoring feedback. As such, it
is necessary to have a mechanism to monitor and provide execution
status of NSFs to security and compliance management tools. There
exist various network security monitoring vendor-specific interfaces
for forensics and troubleshooting, but an industry standard interface
could provide monitoring across a variety of NSFs.
This paragraph still seems to have problems. What the second sentence seems
to mean (though it doesn't say it) is that if you enable a security
function, you don't *know* that the network is protected if you don't have
any monitoring feedback. (The sentence is stated in terms of whether the
network *is* protected, which it might well be, even if you don't have
monitoring.) It seems that you need to replace "does not mean that a
network is protected" with something that is more literally correct.
The third sentence is constructed "... to have a mechanism to monitor and
provide execution status of NSFs to ...". There's an awkwardness that
"monitor" isn't connected to "security and compliance management tools",
whereas "provide ... status ... to" *is* connected; there's a problem that
the "monitor" and "provide" are written as if they're parallel, but they're
not. I think the wording is less confusing this
way:
As such, it is necessary to have a mechanism to monitor NSFs and
provide their execution status to security and compliance
management tools.
--
There
exist various network security monitoring vendor-specific interfaces
for forensics and troubleshooting, but an industry standard interface
could provide monitoring across a variety of NSFs.
I think it's easier to read "vendor-specific network security monitoring
interfaces".
3.1.4. More Demand to Control NSFs Dynamically
The Security Service Providers ...
The capitalization of "security service providers" is inconsistent.
Some times all three words are capitalized (in 3.1.2, 3.1.4, and 4), and
some times they're not (two places in 3).
3.2.2. Today's Control Requests are Vendor Specific
Managing by scripts de-jour: The current practices rely upon
the
use of scripts that generate other scripts which automatically run
to upload or download configuration changes, log information and
other things. These scripts have to be adjusted each time an
implementation from a different vendor technology is enabled by a
provider side.
What is "a provider side"? I suspect it means "the provider side of an
XXX", but I'm not familiar enough with the subject to know what XXX is.
[END]
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