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Re: Artart last call review of draft-ietf-nfsv4-versioning-09

2017-05-13 08:29:03
Thanks for the review.

* For the bullet points in this document, some end in periods and
some don't.  I recommend the authors choose one and update
accordingly.

Will update those without periods.

* In section 1. "Introduction", the last sentence is very clumsy.
The Gen-ART review already points this out, and provides what I think
is a good suggested change.

It has been updated.

* In section 4.4.2 "Establishing Interoperability", the phrase
"client
would uses" should be "client uses"

Will fix.

* In section 5.2 "Behavioral Changes", the following sentence is
difficult parse:

...

I think the following has the same meaning:

  """
  One class of behavior change involves changes in the set of errors
  to be returned when various failure conditions occur.
  """

That's not tremendously better, but I think it's a little easier to
wrap one's mind around.

Will change.

* In the title for Section 9.3 "XDR Corrections to REQUIRED
features",
"Features" should be capitalized.

Will fix.

* In Section 9.3 "XDR Corrections to REQUIRED features", the word
"correct" should be "corrected" in the sentence "Such clients would
only
be capable of interoperating with servers that supported the correct
version."

Will fix.


On Fri, May 12, 2017 at 4:37 PM, Matthew Miller <
linuxwolf+ietf(_at_)outer-planes(_dot_)net> wrote:

Reviewer: Matthew Miller
Review result: Ready with Issues

Document: draft-ietf-nfsv4-versioning-09
IETF LC End Date: 2017-05-12
IESG Telechat date: 2017-05-25

This document provides guidance for dealing with extensions
and versioning in NFSv4, including how and when to update
minor versions.

This document is mostly ready.  Some of the grammatical choices
make for a more difficult read; the most obvious ones to me are
nits below.

Major issues:

NONE

Minor issues:

NONE

Nits/editorial comments:

* For the bullet points in this document, some end in periods and
some don't.  I recommend the authors choose one and update
accordingly.

* In section 1. "Introduction", the last sentence is very clumsy.
The Gen-ART review already points this out, and provides what I think
is a good suggested change.

* In section 4.4.2 "Establishing Interoperability", the phrase
"client
would uses" should be "client uses"

* In section 5.2 "Behavioral Changes", the following sentence is
difficult parse:

   """
   One class of behavioral change involves changes in the set of
errors
   to be returned in the event of various errors.
   """

I think the following has the same meaning:

   """
   One class of behavior change involves changes in the set of errors
   to be returned when various failure conditions occur.
   """

That's not tremendously better, but I think it's a little easier to
wrap one's mind around.

* In the title for Section 9.3 "XDR Corrections to REQUIRED
features",
"Features" should be capitalized.

* In Section 9.3 "XDR Corrections to REQUIRED features", the word
"correct" should be "corrected" in the sentence "Such clients would
only
be capable of interoperating with servers that supported the correct
version."