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Gen-ART LC Review of draft-ietf-hip-native-api-09

2009-11-30 18:01:44
I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) 
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see 
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments 
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-hip-native-api-09
Reviewer: Ben Campbell
Review Date: 2009-11-30
IETF LC End Date: 2009-12-03
IESG Telechat date: (if known)

Summary: This draft is ready for publication as an experimental RFC. I have a 
small number of editorial comments that might be worth addressing if there is a 
new version prior to publication.

Major issues:

None

Minor issues:

None

Nits/editorial comments:

--Section  1, paragraph 3:
Please expand ORCHID on first mention.


-- Section 1, paragraph 4:
Please expand LSI on first mention.

-- Section 4.2, first paragraph after figure 3:

Am I correct in assuming the EAI_FAMILY error only happens if the ai_family 
field was set to AF_HIP? That is, it would not make sense for AF_UNSPEC? The 
paragraph structure makes it looks like it applies to both.

-- idnits returns the following, which I include without prejudice:

idnits 2.11.15 

tmp/draft-ietf-hip-native-api-09.txt:

  Checking boilerplate required by RFC 5378 and the IETF Trust (see
  http://trustee.ietf.org/license-info):
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

  == The document has an IETF Trust Provisions (12 Sep 2009) Section 6.c(i)
     Publication Limitation clause.


  Checking nits according to http://www.ietf.org/ietf/1id-guidelines.txt:
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     No issues found here.

  Checking nits according to http://www.ietf.org/ID-Checklist.html:
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     No issues found here.

  Miscellaneous warnings:
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

  == Line 393 has weird spacing: '... struct    soc...'

  == Line 395 has weird spacing: '... struct    add...'

  == The document seems to lack a disclaimer for pre-RFC5378 work, but was
     first submitted before 10 November 2008.  Should you add the disclaimer?
     (See the Legal Provisions document at
     http://trustee.ietf.org/license-info for more information.) -- however,
     there's a paragraph with a matching beginning. Boilerplate error?


  Checking references for intended status: Experimental
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

  == Outdated reference: A later version (-10) exists of
     draft-ietf-shim6-multihome-shim-api-09

  == Outdated reference: draft-ietf-shim6-proto has been published as RFC 5533


     Summary: 0 errors (**), 6 warnings (==), 0 comments (--).

     Run idnits with the --verbose option for more detailed information about
     the items above.

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