Hi Kathleen and Matthew,
Thank you for your review and comment. I have updated the draft according to
most of your comments.
-----Original Message-----
From: kathleen(_dot_)moriarty(_at_)emc(_dot_)com
[mailto:kathleen(_dot_)moriarty(_at_)emc(_dot_)com]
Sent: Monday, June 27, 2011 9:09 PM
To: gen-art(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org;
draft-li-pwe3-ms-pw-pon(_dot_)all(_at_)tools(_dot_)ietf(_dot_)org;
ietf(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org
Cc: Lihongyu(Hongyu); Robin Zheng(Ruobin);
adrian(_dot_)farrel(_at_)huawei(_dot_)com
Subject: GEN-ART review for draft-li-pwe3-ms-pw-pon-03
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
< http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
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Document: draft-li-pwe3-ms-pw-pon-03
Reviewer: Kathleen Moriarty
Review Date: June 27, 2011
IETF LC End Date:
IESG Telechat date: June 28, 2011
Summary: This document is ready with nits.
Major issues:
Minor issues:
Nits/editorial comments:
The acronym PW is used in the abstract and is not defined until the
introduction. Please fix.
Paragraph 7 of the introduction, last sentence:
Change from "Besides coding and
maintenance of these new protocols, a much powerful CPU and more
memory are also necessary for them to run smoothly."
To: "Besides coding and
maintenance of these new protocols, a much more powerful CPU and more
memory are also necessary for them to run smoothly."
If you do not want to repeat the word more, consider the word additional to
replace the second instance of more.
Last paragraph of Section 4:
Consider changing from: "OMCI supports the configuration of a number of PW
types including
TDM, ATM, and Ethernet, and the protocol can also be used to allow
the ONU to notify the OLT of the status of the AC."
To: "OMCI supports the configuration of a number of PW types including
TDM, ATM, and Ethernet. The protocol can also be used to allow
the ONU to notify the OLT of the status of the AC."
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