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Gen-ART LC Review of draft-ietf-forces-interop-07

2013-05-13 14:28:27
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at

<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-forces-interop-07
Reviewer: Ben Campbell
Review Date: 2013-05-13
IETF LC End Date: 2013-05-13
IESG Telechat date: 

Summary: This draft is almost ready for publication as an informational RFC. I 
have a few minor questions and editorial comments that may be worth considering 
prior to publication.

*** Major issues:

None.

*** Minor issues:

-- The draft mentions a couple of instances of tests that failed because of an 
incorrect implementation or differing encapsulation formats. Does this suggest 
that the specifications should be clarified? In particular, in the case of 
encapsulation format mismatch, should the specs include stronger requirements 
to be able to receive all encapsulation formats? Or should the number of 
options be reduced?

-- I have a mild concern that the use of origin country names for each 
implementation could confuse readers into thinking that the countries 
themselves officially participated, rather than organizations from each country.


-- section 4.4, last paragraph:

The text says that since the mentioned failures were likely the result of bugs, 
it doesn't indicate an interoperability problem in the specs. I have to point 
out that, it also doesn't prove interoperability in both directions for the 
particular test. It would also be worth commenting on whether the probably bugs 
were programming errors rather than misunderstandings of the specification.


*** Nits/editorial comments:

-- The draft uses inconsistent verb tense throughout. I found this a bit 
confusing, as I assume the draft talks entirely about tests that have already 
occurred.

-- IDNits points out that you have several references without explicit 
citations. I see that you called the references out by name in the text, but it 
would be better to include the citations.

-- Section 1, paragraph 6:

Please expand abbreviations on first mention.

-- Section 1.1:

Please expand FE on first mention.

-- section 2.2.2, paragraph 1: "... from China and Japan implementations..."

Missing "the".

Is it possible to add a reference for details on the Smartbits testing machine?

-- Figure 2:

Do you really want to publish the IP addresses used in an RFC? RFCs live 
forever...

-- Section 2.2.2, paragraph after figure 2: 

First sentence does not parse.


-- Figure 3:

The figure has some formatting issues, at least in the PDF version. Also, is it 
possible to avoid splitting the figure across the page break?

-- section 3.2, paragraph 3: "Because of system deficiency to deploy IPSec over 
TML in Greece,..."

Phrase doesn't parse.

-- section 3.2, paragraph 4: "... over IPSec channel."

Missing "the".

"...to have established..."

to establish.

-- section 4 and subsections:

It seems like some of the test descriptions in 4.X may be redundant to the 
previous scenario descriptions.

-- section 4.1, notes on 28 and 29:

Sentence does not parse.

... notes on 30 and 31:

Missing articles.

-- section 5.1, last paragraph in list item "2.": "The interoperability test 
witnessed that..."

The test _showed_...   [or the _testers_ witnessed...]

-- section 9:

It would be worth mentioning that you explicitly tested for IPSec support.


 






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