I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review
Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for
the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call
comment. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>
Document: draft-ietf-trill-channel-tunnel-09
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: July 1, 2016
IETF LC End Date: July 1, 2016
IESG Telechat date: July 7, 2016
Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication as a Proposed
Standard, but has some nits that should be fixed before publication. [Ready
with nits]
This draft extends TRILL RBridge Channels so that they can transmit
additional, tunneled message types. Security services for RBridge Channel
messages can be provisioned via RFC 5310 authentication and/or DTLS. The
draft is well-written and easy to understand in the larger TRILL context.
Major issues: None
Minor issues: None
Nits:
General:
For cases of "[RFC5310] Based authentication" to "[RFC5310]-based
authentication". Watch for one instance of "RFC 5310 Based" as well.
Specific:
Page 3, Section 1, 1st paragraph, last sentence: delete the comma following
"link".
Page 4, "HKDF" definition: Change "Hash based" to "HMAC-based".
Page 4, "MTU" definition: add a period at the end of the definition for
consistency.
Page 4, "Sz" definition: change "Campus wide" to "Campus-wide".
Page 6, 1st full paragraph, 1st sentence: suggest changing "RBridge Channel
Extension Protocol" to "Extended RBridge Channel Protocol" as this is the
usage throughout the rest of the document.
Page 8, Section 3.1, 3rd sentence: insert "tunneled" before "data". I hope
this will help clarity when referring back to Figure 2.4 which includes
"Tunneled Data".
Page 8, Section 3.2, 1st sentence: append "(tunneled data)" after "payload".
This is done for the same reason, although I'm not recommending doing this
for all further occurrences of "payload" in other sections as I hope the
connection is made by that point.
Page 12, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: change "link local" to "link-local".
Page 12, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "These constructed addresses"
to "A constructed address".
Page 14, Section 4, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: change "use" to "used".
Page 14, Section 4, 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence: change "DTLS based" to
"DTLS-based".
Page 14, Section 4, 4th paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "data accessible" to
"data-accessible".
Page 15, 1st partial paragraph, last sentence: insert "the" before
"output-derived".
Page 16, 1st bullet item: change "or" to "on".
Page 17, 1st paragraph: delete the comma after "keying".
Page 18, 2nd full paragraph, last sentence: change "secuirty" to "security".
Page 20, Section 6.2, 1st paragraph: change "a" to "an".
Page 21, Section 7, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: delete "processing of". Or
change "processing" to "process".