Come work for Microsoft!
Do you have what it takes?
We're working on creating the solution to the spam problem that puts us in
control. We will define what spam is and develop tools to allow only non-spam
through.
We're promoting "Trusted Computing" (A.K.A. "You shouldn't be trusted to run
software of your choice on your computer.")
We're working hard to co-opt the IETF and ASRG by aggressively promoting
schemes we're filing patents on, and not disclosing that fact, thereby
subverting IETF policy. Simultaneously, we cripple the competition by
promising that our product is amazing and coming soon.
We're secretly ('till recently) funding SCO's attack on Linux, to the tune of
$100 million.
-http://www.opensource.org/halloween
We're a criminal enterprise convicted in court so often we've lost count.
Were you the playground bully? You're the kind of person who'll fit right in!
email us at slashandburn(_at_)rapeandpillage(_dot_)microsoft(_dot_)com
Microsoft is innovation:
That Bayesian Filtering idea? - we invented it, but call it SmartScreen.
That Captcha idea? - we invented it, but call it HIP.
Reference for the above inventions:
http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/features/2003/nov03/11-17spamfilter.asp
We invented the windows interface, and no one can call their windowing product
Lindows because we'll sue 'em over and over.
The Internet? We invented it too.
Catchall reference to our secrets of success:
http://www.kmfms.com/whatsbad.html - a GREAT read.
From a Software User's Perspective
* Bloat
* Backward incompatibility
* Perpetual upgrading
* Vaporware
* Hostile treatment of customers
* Predatory practices
* Bundling of inferior products
* Bugs, bugs, and more bugs
* Insecurity
From a Technical Perspective
* Closed "standards"
* Mutilation of existing standards
* Lack of innovation
From the Perspective of Everybody Else
* Attempts at taking over appliance markets
* Attempts at buying the public's trust
* Outright deception
Common Defenses of Microsoft Debunked
* Microsoft is ahead because their products are superior
* Microsoft should not be punished for its success
--
Not Harry Katz. This is (obviously) a (sick) joke (And something a
2821.MAILFROM-based check would have caught).
slashandburn(_at_)rapeandpillage(_dot_)microsoft(_dot_)com