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Gen-ART LC Review of draft-ietf-hip-bone-06

2010-06-11 13:51:49
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-hip-bone-06
Reviewer: Ben Campbell
Review Date: 2010-06-11
IETF LC End Date: 2010-06-11
IESG Telechat date: 2010-06-17

Summary: Ready for publication as an experimental RFC. I have a few minor 
editorial comments that I think should be considered in any remaining edits, 
but should not block publication.

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:

-- General:

 IDNITS turns up some outdated references and boilerplate questions. Please 
check.

-- Section 1, paragraph 2: "HIP BONE,"

   Please expand on first mention

-- Section 1, last paragraph

   I'm not sure we can assume the reader knows what you mean by "customary 
sections."

-- 3.2.2, para 3, last sentence: "Given that each operation requires the 
attacker to generate a new key pair, the attack is completely impractical"

It would be better to avoid hyperbole when describing the practicality of an 
attack. Perhaps something to the effect of "impractical with current technology 
and techniques"?

-- 3.4, 2nd paragraph, last sentence: "with such straightforward approach."
   
Missing article

-- 5.1, paragraph 2: "The enrollment server of an overlay that were to use HITs 
derived from public keys as Node IDs could just authorize users to use the 
public keys and HITs associated to their nodes."
   
I have trouble parsing the first part of the sentence, around "that were to 
use".

-- 5.3, paragraph 1:"Nodes in an overlay need to establish connection with 
other nodes"
  
Connections (singular/plural mismatch)

-- 5.5, paragraph before last bullet list: "It is assumed that areas not 
covered by a particular HIP BONE instance specification are specified by the 
peer protocol or elsewhere."
   
This seems more a requirement than an assumption.

-- 6.1:"[ TBD by IANA; 980 ]"
   
Does this mean IANA has already picked the number? Or is it a recommended 
number? (Pattern repeats for other registrations)



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