Dear Ben-
Many thanks to your detailed review. I have addressed all your comments
in the enclosed version. Please see in-line for details.
Thanks
Regards ... Zafar
-----Original Message-----
From: Ben Campbell [mailto:ben(_at_)nostrum(_dot_)com]
Sent: Friday, August 12, 2011 5:27 PM
To:
draft-ietf-mpls-rsvp-te-no-php-oob-mapping(_dot_)all(_at_)tools(_dot_)ietf(_dot_)org
Cc: The IETF; gen-art(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org Review Team
Subject: Gen-ART LC Review of draft-ietf-mpls-rsvp-te-no-php-oob-
mapping-08
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.
Document: draft-ietf-mpls-rsvp-te-no-php-oob-mapping
Reviewer: Ben Campbell
Review Date: 2011-08-12
IETF LC End Date: 2011-08-12
Summary: This document is almost ready for publication as a proposed
standard. There are a few editorial issues and nits that should be
considered prior to publication.
Major issues:
None
Minor issues:
None
Nits/editorial comments:
-- Please proofread for missing articles (i.e. a, an, the)
Opps, I failed my English test again ;-) I did proofread the document
and have tried to fix the articles to best of my ability. Certainly look
forward to help from RFC editor, if I may please.
BTW I always struggle which one of the following is (more) correct:
"An RSVP-TE LSP" vs. "A RSVP-TE LSP"
Document uses "an RSVP-TE LSP".
-- idnits reports some issues, please check.
I have cleaned up all idnits in the enclosed version, as follows:
idnits 2.12.12
tmp/draft-ietf-mpls-rsvp-te-no-php-oob-mapping-09.txt:
Checking boilerplate required by RFC 5378 and the IETF Trust (see
http://trustee.ietf.org/license-info):
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
No issues found here.
Checking nits according to
http://www.ietf.org/id-info/1id-guidelines.txt:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
No issues found here.
Checking nits according to http://www.ietf.org/id-info/checklist :
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
No issues found here.
Miscellaneous warnings:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
No issues found here.
Checking references for intended status: Proposed Standard
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
(See RFCs 3967 and 4897 for information about using normative
references
to lower-maturity documents in RFCs)
-- Possible downref: Normative reference to a draft: ref.
'ATTRIBUTE-BNF'
Summary: 0 errors (**), 0 warnings (==), 1 comment (--).
n.b. We have ignored one comment, as 'ATTRIBUTE-BNF' needs to be
normative reference.
-- section 1:
It would be helpful to include an explicit definition of " non-
Penultimate Hop Popping behavior" somewhere in the introduction.
We have added it in the enclosed version (v9).
-- section 1, paragraph 2: "P2MP"
Please expand on first mention. I see you did in the abstract, but it
should be redone in the body.
We have added RSVP-TE point-to-multipoint (P2MP) in the introduction
too.
-- section 2.2, last paragraph: "w.r.t."
Please spell out
Spelled out.
-- section 3: First paragraph: " Addition of "non-PHP behavior" adds a
variable of attacks on the label assigned by the Egress node. "
Is "variable" the correct word?
It seems to describe the sentence well. We are open to any suggestion.
-- IANA Considerations:
Please include the explicit names of the registry to be changed.
Added Resource Reservation Protocol-Traffic Engineering (RSVP-TE)
Parameters registry
-- 6.1, "[RFC 2119]"
The space between RFC and 2119 confused idnits, and may confuse other
tools.
Adrian also pointed out this. It is fixed in the enclosed version.
-- 6.1, [RFC5920]
This is an informational draft. Does the reference need to be
normative?
Adrian also pointed out this. It is fixed in the enclosed version.
-- general:
I am unable to read the title without thinking of this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hop_on_Pop :-)
LOL :)
draft-ietf-mpls-rsvp-te-no-php-oob-mapping-09.txt
Description: draft-ietf-mpls-rsvp-te-no-php-oob-mapping-09.txt
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