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Re: Last Call: <draft-ietf-behave-ipfix-nat-logging-06.txt> (IPFIX Information Elements for logging NAT Events)

2016-03-02 17:57:29
Senthil, I hadn't realised you'd published a new version of the draft. Please CC me if/when you update it again.

I've quickly reviewed the diffs between -06 and -07 :


1. Terminology

" /Any non-IPFIX terminology used to convey NAT events are described in / /this section./"

-> which section is "/this/" referring to? Since this paragraph seems only to serve as an introduction to the third paragraph which only contains a single exception, would it be better to remove these two lines and go directly to the third paragraph? :

   However, that causes
   confusion in terminology used in NAT specific terms and IPFIX IEs.
   Any non-IPFIX terminology used to convey NAT events are described in
   this section.



2. Introduction

"This document details the IPFIX Information Elements(IEs)"

-> No need to repeat "(IEs)" since this was already explained in the Terminology section.

-> Remove the duplicated text:

   The IPFIX Protocol [RFC7011] defines a generic push mechanism for
   exporting information and events.  The IPFIX Information Model
   [IPFIX-IANA] defines a set of standard IEs which can be carried by
the IPFIX protocol.This document details the IPFIX Information Elements(IEs) that MUST be logged by a NAT device that supports NAT logging using IPFIX. This document details the IPFIX Information
   Elements(IEs) that MUST be logged by a NAT device that supports NAT
   logging using IPFIX, and all the optional fields.  The fields
   specified in this document are gleaned from [RFC4787] and [RFC5382].



5.4. Quota exceeded Event types

-> In the "/The events that can be reported are .../", I'd like to see the text be identical to the items listed in table 3 to remove any possible ambiguity.



5.6.8.4.Global Address mapping high threshold reached

-> Extra whitespace at the period: "paired address pooling behavior ."



8.1. New Information Elements / natLimitEvent, natThresholdEvent,

-> typo: " describer in Table below."

-> you should remove the "Table 22" and "Table 23" descriptions under those tables, because these won't make any sense when the text is transcribed into IANA's registry. E



8.2. Modified Information Elements / natEvent

-> Again, you can't modify the definitions of the existing values.


P.



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