Please see inline for [Senthil]
From: Paul Aitken
<paitken(_at_)brocade(_dot_)com<mailto:paitken(_at_)brocade(_dot_)com>>
Date: Wednesday, March 2, 2016 at 8:58 AM
To: Senthil Sivakumar
<ssenthil(_at_)cisco(_dot_)com<mailto:ssenthil(_at_)cisco(_dot_)com>>,
"draft-ietf-behave-ipfix-nat-logging(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org<mailto:draft-ietf-behave-ipfix-nat-logging(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org>"
<draft-ietf-behave-ipfix-nat-logging(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org<mailto:draft-ietf-behave-ipfix-nat-logging(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org>>
Cc: "ietf(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org<mailto:ietf(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org>"
<ietf(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org<mailto:ietf(_at_)ietf(_dot_)org>>
Subject: Re: Last Call: <draft-ietf-behave-ipfix-nat-logging-06.txt> (IPFIX
Information Elements for logging NAT Events)
Senthil, I hadn't realised you'd published a new version of the draft. Please
CC me if/when you update it again.
I've quickly reviewed the diffs between -06 and -07 :
1. Terminology
" Any non-IPFIX terminology used to convey NAT events are described in this
section."
-> which section is "this" referring to? Since this paragraph seems only to
serve as an introduction to the third paragraph which only contains a single
exception, would it be better to remove these two lines and go directly to the
third paragraph? :
However, that causes
confusion in terminology used in NAT specific terms and IPFIX IEs.
Any non-IPFIX terminology used to convey NAT events are described in
this section.
[Senthil] How does this read?
The IPFIX Information Elements that are NAT specific are created with
NAT terminology. In order to avoid creating duplicate IEs, IEs
are reused if they convey the same meaning.
This document uses the term timestamp for the Information element
which
defines the time when an event is logged, this is the same as IPFIX
term observationTimeMilliseconds as described in [IPFIX-IANA]. Since
observationTimeMilliseconds is not self explanatory for NAT
implementors,
this document uses the term timeStamp.
2. Introduction
"This document details the IPFIX Information Elements(IEs)"
-> No need to repeat "(IEs)" since this was already explained in the
Terminology section.
-> Remove the duplicated text:
The IPFIX Protocol [RFC7011] defines a generic push mechanism for
exporting information and events. The IPFIX Information Model
[IPFIX-IANA] defines a set of standard IEs which can be carried by
the IPFIX protocol. This document details the IPFIX Information
Elements(IEs) that MUST be logged by a NAT device that supports NAT
logging using IPFIX. This document details the IPFIX Information
Elements(IEs) that MUST be logged by a NAT device that supports NAT
logging using IPFIX, and all the optional fields. The fields
specified in this document are gleaned from [RFC4787] and [RFC5382].
[Senthil] Done.
5.4. Quota exceeded Event types
-> In the " The events that can be reported are ...", I'd like to see the text
be identical to the items listed in table 3 to remove any possible ambiguity.
[Senthil] All of the events do match the table. The text is a little more
verbose and descriptive, so that the table doesn't have to have long text
message.
Let me know if the below is any better than before.
The events that can be reported are the Maximum session
entries limit reached, Maximum BIB entries limit reached, Maximum
(session/BIB) entries per user limit reached, Maximum active hosts limit
reached or maximum subscribers limit reached and
Maximum Fragments pending reassembly limit reached.
+---------------------------------------+--------+
| Quota Exceeded Event Name | Values |
+---------------------------------------+--------+
| Maximum Session entries | 1 |
| Maximum BIB entries | 2 |
| Maximum entries per user | 3 |
| Maximum active hosts or subscribers | 4 |
| Maximum fragments pending reassembly | 5 |
+---------------------------------------+--------+
5.6.8.4. Global Address mapping high threshold reached
-> Extra whitespace at the period: "paired address pooling behavior ."
[Senthil] Done.
8.1. New Information Elements / natLimitEvent, natThresholdEvent,
-> typo: " describer in Table below."
-> you should remove the "Table 22" and "Table 23" descriptions under those
tables, because these won't make any sense when the text is transcribed into
IANA's registry. E
[Senthil] I am not sure I understand why, because in section 8.1, for
natInstanceI, internalAddressRealm, externalAddressRealm we have this format
of name/description/data type and references.
Why is natLimitEvent and natThresholdEvent different just because they have
their values defined?
8.2. Modified Information Elements / natEvent
-> Again, you can't modify the definitions of the existing values.
[Senthil] Is there a process on how to modify/deprecate the previously defined
values and replace it with new ones?
Thanks
Senthil