ietf-smime
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Re: WG LAST CALL: draft-ietf-smime-rfc2633bis-07.txt

2004-03-01 19:46:08
Only minor editorial comments (read NO show stoppers):
  1. Para 1.3, Certificate definition: Replace "distinguished name" with "name" the names are not always "distinguished."
  2. Para 1.3, Receiving agent, Sending agent, and S/MIME agent definitions: Capitalize 1st word "software" and "user."
  3. Para 2.2, Last paragraph last sentence: replace "and may not implement id-dsa-with-sha1 at all" with "and may not implement id-dsa-with-sha1 or id-sha at all."
  4. Para 2.4.2, SignedData Content Type: Can we add a sentence that says "Applying a signature to message provides authentication, message integrity, and non-repudiation of origin."  The other content types indicate what "services" they support or don't support.
  5. Para 2.4.4, 2nd sentence: Replace "This content type does not provide authentication or privacy" with "This content type does not provide authentication, message integrity, non-repudiation, or data confidentiality".  Just making it match the "services" listed in the introduction.
  6. Para 3.1, Steps 1-4: Add periods to end of sentences.
  7. Para 3.1.3, 3rd Para 2nd sentence: Replace "8-bit clear" with "8-bit clean" to match terminology in 3.1.2 2nd paragraph 4 sentence.
  8. Para 3.3, Step 2, last sentence: Replace "(see CMS Section 6)" with (see [CMS] Section 6).
  9. Para 3.4.2, Steps 1&2: Add periods to end of sentences.
  10. Compressed data text in 3.5 points to 3.1 but there's no mention in 3.1 of compression.  You should either add a sentence to say that in 3.1 enveloped = compression in this section or make the following changes (or others to clarify that you also mean to refer to compression data):
    1. Para 3.1, Title: Replace "Signing or Enveloping" with "Signing, Enveloping, or Compressing" because para 3.5 says perform message as in 3.1 but there's not mention of compressing in 3.1.
    2. Para 3.1, 1st para 1st sentence: Replace "S/MIME is used to secure MIME entities" with "S/MIME is used to secure and optionally compress MIME entities."
    3. Para 3.1, 2nd para 1st sentence: Replace "The MIME entity that is secured and ..." with "The MIME entity that is secured or compressed and ..."
    4. Para 3.1, 4th para 1st sentence: Replace "A single procedure is used for creating MIME entities that are to be signed, enveloped, or both signed and enveloped" with "A single procedure is used for creating MIME entities that are to be signed, enveloped, compressed and both signed and enveloped, signed and compressed, compressed and enveloped, and compressed, signed, and enveloped, etc." (or whatever # of combinations you feel like listing)
    5. Para 3.1, 4th para 3rd sentence: Replace "It is recommended that these additional steps be performed on enveloped messages, or signed and enveloped messages" with "It is recommended that these additional steps be performed on enveloped and compressed messages, or signed and enveloped messages or compressed, signed and enveloped messages."
    6. Para 3.1, 1st para after Step 3: Replace "the security services on the message are processed" with "the security services or compression on the message are processed"
    7. Para 3.5, Step 1: Replace "to be enveloped" with "to be compressed".
  11. Para 3.7, Step 3: Add period to end of sentence.
  12. Annex F, Remove prior to submission to IESG (?)