Re: WG LAST CALL: draft-ietf-smime-rfc2633bis-07.txt
Only minor editorial comments (read NO show stoppers):|
- Para 1.3, Certificate definition: Replace "distinguished name"
with "name" the names are not always "distinguished."
- Para 1.3, Receiving agent, Sending agent, and S/MIME agent
definitions: Capitalize 1st word "software" and "user."
- Para 2.2, Last paragraph last sentence: replace "and may not
implement id-dsa-with-sha1 at all" with "and may not implement
id-dsa-with-sha1 or id-sha at all."
- Para 2.4.2, SignedData Content Type: Can we add a sentence that
says "Applying a signature to message provides authentication, message
integrity, and non-repudiation of origin." The other content types
indicate what "services" they support or don't support.
- Para 2.4.4, 2nd sentence: Replace "This content type does not
provide authentication or privacy" with "This content type does not
provide authentication, message integrity, non-repudiation, or data
confidentiality". Just making it match the "services" listed in the
- Para 3.1, Steps 1-4: Add periods to end of sentences.
- Para 3.1.3, 3rd Para 2nd sentence: Replace "8-bit clear" with
"8-bit clean" to match terminology in 3.1.2 2nd paragraph 4 sentence.
- Para 3.3, Step 2, last sentence: Replace "(see CMS Section 6)"
with (see [CMS] Section 6).
- Para 3.4.2, Steps 1&2: Add periods to end of sentences.
- Compressed data text in 3.5 points to 3.1 but there's no mention
in 3.1 of compression. You should either add a sentence to say that in
3.1 enveloped = compression in this section or make the following
changes (or others to clarify that you also mean to refer to
- Para 3.1, Title: Replace "Signing or Enveloping" with "Signing,
Enveloping, or Compressing" because para 3.5 says perform message as in
3.1 but there's not mention of compressing in 3.1.
- Para 3.1, 1st para 1st sentence: Replace "S/MIME is used to
secure MIME entities" with "S/MIME is used to secure and optionally
compress MIME entities."
- Para 3.1, 2nd para 1st sentence: Replace "The MIME entity that
is secured and ..." with "The MIME entity that is secured or compressed
- Para 3.1, 4th para 1st sentence: Replace "A single procedure is
used for creating MIME entities that are to be
signed, enveloped, or both signed and enveloped" with "A single
procedure is used for creating MIME entities that are to be
signed, enveloped, compressed and both signed and enveloped, signed and
compressed, compressed and enveloped, and compressed, signed, and
enveloped, etc." (or whatever # of combinations you feel like listing)
- Para 3.1, 4th para 3rd sentence: Replace "It is recommended
these additional steps be performed on enveloped messages, or signed
and enveloped messages" with "It is recommended that
these additional steps be performed on enveloped and compressed
messages, or signed
and enveloped messages or compressed, signed and enveloped messages."
- Para 3.1, 1st para after Step 3: Replace "the security services
message are processed" with "the security services or compression on
message are processed"
- Para 3.5, Step 1: Replace "to be enveloped" with "to be
- Para 3.7, Step 3: Add period to end of sentence.
- Annex F, Remove prior to submission to IESG (?)