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Re: Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-forces-mib-07

2008-09-03 11:52:44
Spencer, thanks for the comments. See below for the details. I reissued a 
draft with the editorial changes:

http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-forces-mib-08.txt

Regards,
-Robert

"Spencer Dawkins" <spencer(_at_)wonderhamster(_dot_)org> wrote on 09/01/2008 
04:07:03 
PM:

Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-forces-mib-07

Spencer Dawkins 

to:

ietf

09/01/2008 04:10 PM

Cc:

"Ross Callon", "General Area Review Team", rha, "Patrick Droz", 
"Jamal Hadi Salim"

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-forces-mib-07
Reviewer: Spencer Dawkins
Review Date: 2008-09-01
IETF LC End Date: 2008-09-08
IESG Telechat date: (not known)

Summary: This document is very close to ready for publication as a 
Proposed 
Standard. I have two technical comments below, but both are minor issues 

that could resolved in AUTH48 if you think they have merit.

Comments:

OBTW, idnits 2.08.11 runs cleanly (one spurious warning about 
[RFCzzzz]).

3.  Introduction

   More specifically, the information in the ForCES MIB module relative
   to associations that are up includes:

Spencer (clarity): I'd suggest s/associations/associations between 
Control 
Elements and Forwarding Elements/, unless that's wrong (and if it is, 
I'd 
still suggest "between X and Y", whatever X and Y are). Later uses of 
"association" would be fine, of course, this is just providing initial 
context.

Spencer (clarity): I'd suggest s/up/in the UP state/, or at least 
all-caps-ing UP so it looks like a state.


I made the suggested changes.


4.  ForCES MIB Overview

   The MIB module contains the latest ForCES protocol version supported
   by the CE (forcesLatestProtocolVersionSupported).  Note that the CE
   must also allow interaction with FEs supporting earlier versions.

Spencer (clarity): I'd suggest s/CE/Control Element (CE)/ (and same for 
FE, 
ID, etc.) The reader can figure stuff like this out, but spelling it out 
for 
the reader is just too easy.


I made the suggested changes.

   o  Number of other ForCES messages sent from the CE
      (forcesAssociationOtherMsgSent) and received by the CE
      (forcesAssociationOtherMsgReceived) since the association entered
      the UP state.  Only messages other than Heartbeat, Association
      Setup, Association Setup Response, and Association Teardown are
      counted.

Spencer (technical): I think I know what you're saying here, but you're 
not 
counting "other" messages (because you exclude some of the "other" 
messages. 
The point is that you didn't get into the table with Association 
Setup/Association Setup Response, and you leave the table immediately 
after 
Association Teardown, so you don't have to count these messages, isn't 
it? 
:-(

I agree, but I'd rather keep this explicit. As for "OtherMsg" vs 
"OperationalMsg": I'd rather keep it as is, given that we define what are 
these "other" messages.


If it's not too late to change this to "OperationalMsg" or something 
similar, I'd suggest that, for clarity. If it is too late to change this 
...

   Finally, the MIB module defines the following notifications:

   o  Whenever an association enters the UP state, a notification
      (forcesAssociationEntryUp) is issued containing the version of the
      ForCES protocol running.  Note that as CE ID and FE ID are
      indexes, they appear in the OID of the ForCES-protocol running-

Spencer (technical): this is intended as a question, because I don't 
know 
MIB practices, but it looks to me like CE ID and FE ID are concatenated 
into 
ONE index, so they aren't "indexes" - right? I'm looking at the INDEX 
for 
"ForcesAssociationEntry".

The rest of the document is pretty clear about this, so I'd suggest "CE 
ID 
and FE ID are concatenated to form the table index", or something 
similar, 
unless I don't understand (it happens).

Your interpretation is correct, I changed the text as you suggested.


      version object.  Optionally, a notification
      (forcesAssociationEntryUpStats) can instead be issued with all
      associated information for this association, except
      forcesAssociationTimeDown. 

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