--On Monday, 10 November, 2008 11:19 -0500 Russ Housley
<housley(_at_)vigilsec(_dot_)com> wrote:
John:
In the previous note from me, I responded to you and Jari on
your main points. In this note, I am responding to your
editorial points.
Textual nit-picking
* The second full paragraph of the Introduction ("The IETF is
responsible..."), second sentence, should read "..., and any
other IETF-generated Informational or Experimental documents".
Otherwise, one may suck most of the Independent Submission
...
I agree. The revised sentence reads: "These RFCs, and any
other IETF-generated Informational or Experimental documents,
are reviewed by appropriate IETF bodies and published as part
of the IETF Stream."
Excellent
* The document is confused about tense and mood of particular
words and the general tone of the language used. For
example, Section 1 Paragraph 5, last sentence, says "...was a
considerable drain... this is not" and should probably should
have been "...this was not". As another example, consider
...
Agree: s/this is not/this was not/
To make them all parallel in structure, the first numbered
item in section 3 becomes: "1. The IESG finds no conflict
between this document and IETF work."
Much better.
In RFC 3932, these numbered items (except the first one, which
is the same until the modification above) begin "The IESG
thinks" During pre-Last-Call-review, I received feedback that
"The IESG finds" was a better. Now, you propose "The IESG
believes". I do believe that the current wording is better
than the original. I'm willing to change it to something else
if there is consensus to do so. What do other reviewers
find/think/believe/prefer?
I find (sic) that "find" is better than "thinks", but probably
prefer "believes". "has concluded" would be even better, IMO.
* The assertion in paragraph 7 of Section 1 is not correct.
While it probably was the case in the years _immediately_
preceding 2006, there was a period of several years in which
the IAB performed a (sometimes pro-forma) review of IRTF
...
I suggest the following change to the first sentence in that
paragraph: "Prior to 2006, documents from the IRTF were
treated as either IAB submissions or individual submissions
via the RFC Editor."
That would be correct. Thanks.
* If you really want to right to claim "harmful to the
Internet", then Section 6 is incomplete, because some of the
classes of harm that you might be trying to prevent involve
security.
Are you talking about this paragraph?
If the IESG does not find any conflict between an
independent
submission and IETF work, then the RFC Editor is
responsible for
judging the technical merits for that submission, including
considerations of possible harm to the Internet. If the
IESG does
not find any conflict between an IRTF submission and IETF
work, then
the IRSG is responsible for judging the technical merits
for that
submission, including considerations of possible harm to
the
Internet.
Not really. Most of the really problematic text about "harm"
has been removed, for which I thank you. But, just as we have
(correctly, IMO) been quite insistent that publication of a
document cannot infringe anyone's (non-copyright) IPR, it is
hard for me to believe that the publication of a document can
"harm" the Internet or even "harm" the IETF's standards process.
Cause some operational difficulties if implemented, yes. Cause
some confusion if published out of sequence with other work,
probably. But I think this document would be enhanced if all
language about "harm" resulting from publication (even the
above) were removed and replaced by language describing what
sort of damage is being anticipated or prevented.
...
john
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