Once again, let me state that I doubt anybody cares who insulted who
first in a flamewar. The rule for flamewars is very simple. It takes
two to tango. If one person tries a flamewar on his own, I find that
usually he gives up or people killfile/block him.
If somebody insults you rather than addressing factual arguments, just
let it go. Really. It's amazing how well this works. I know it's
hard to do. I know it's hard to stay perfect at it, so I don't expect
you to manage every time. But please, manage most of the time.
When somebody posts an ad hominem, I think less of the _poster_, not the
target. I only start thinking less of the target if the target responds.
There is no debate to be had when it gets personal, no point which will
be settled.
Just walk away. This is an IETF list, so we can't bounce people for
responding to flames, but sometimes I sure wish we could.
Yes, it's hard. Respond to the flamer in e-mail if this will satisfy
you somehow. If they block your email then the world will live if
you don't e-mail them. Get on with the facts.
"But I have to correct false accusations!" you might say. Well, you
actually don't. We're really a lot smarter than we look. We can tell
a smear when we see it. If somebody politely calls you a pig fucker,
then you can politely deny it, but if he jumps up and down and calls
you that, trust us, we don't give it any credit.
Please don't tell us who started it. It only makes us think less of
you.
Let's get back to engineering problems:
a) Refine and agree on the statement of the problem.
b) Refine and agree on goals to solve the problem and metrics to
determine success
c) Refine and agree on technical and philosophical constraints on
solutions.
d) Propose and test solutions to the problem
e) Evaluate how well they solve the problem and fit the constraints.
f) ...
g) Profit!
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